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What Are You Committing To? Some pointers for discussion

Leave a Comment / Articles, COMMIT: Committing to marriage, PREPARE: Preparing for your successful marriage /

Some people treat dating only or mostly as a game, and seem resistant to developing a meaningful emotional connection and do not want to take the relationship in a serious direction. Often this is because of an ambivalent relationship orientation. They want the closeness, but they are not ready to be tied down. So they treat dating like a game. You can tell a player by the very dramatic gap between their nice manner and their dismissive attitude towards the relationship.

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Should They Continue or Should They Quit?

Leave a Comment / Articles, BOND: Deepening the relationship, NAVIGATE: Navigating the Shidduch Process, stuck bundle /

When after a few good dates, one or both parties feel that it is not going anywhere, the question arises whether to keep going or quit. It is important to recognize that there is, in reality, a third option: helping those dating to become unstuck?

Often there is an entirely comprehensible reason why things are stuck, and in most such cases it is possible to get around the issue. Most of the issues can be overcome through a basic level of self-awareness combined with acquiring some modest new dating or relationship building skills. We would help many people if we offer daters access to timely input.

Should They Continue or Should They Quit? Read More »

Should They Continue or Should They Quit?

Leave a Comment / Articles, BOND: Deepening the relationship, NAVIGATE: Navigating the Shidduch Process, stuck bundle /

When after a few good dates, one or both parties feel that it is not going anywhere, the question arises whether to keep going or quit. It is important to recognize that there is, in reality, a third option: helping those dating to become unstuck?

Often there is an entirely comprehensible reason why things are stuck, and in most such cases it is possible to get around the issue. Most of the issues can be overcome through a basic level of self-awareness combined with acquiring some modest new dating or relationship building skills. We would help many people if we offer daters access to timely input.

Should They Continue or Should They Quit? Read More »

“I’m Not Feeling It”: How to build Connection

Leave a Comment / Articles, BOND: Deepening the relationship, stuck bundle, TOOLS: Tools & Mindsets for Productive Dating /

One of the key reasons people struggle with dating is: bonding, or building a connection. If connection doesn’t develop automatically and organically, it is still possible and necessary to nurture it. How? By saying and doing those things that trigger the same kinds of reactions that for most people happen naturally. Make it your business to ensure that your date feels better about herself for having spent some time in your company. This is especially true for people who are struggling to build connection.

“I’m Not Feeling It”: How to build Connection Read More »

“I’m Not Feeling It”: How to build Connection

Leave a Comment / Articles, BOND: Deepening the relationship, stuck bundle, TOOLS: Tools & Mindsets for Productive Dating /

One of the key reasons people struggle with dating is: bonding, or building a connection. If connection doesn’t develop automatically and organically, it is still possible and necessary to nurture it. How? By saying and doing those things that trigger the same kinds of reactions that for most people happen naturally. Make it your business to ensure that your date feels better about herself for having spent some time in your company. This is especially true for people who are struggling to build connection.

“I’m Not Feeling It”: How to build Connection Read More »

Questions to Ask a Reference About a Prospective Date

Leave a Comment / Articles, NAVIGATE: Navigating the Shidduch Process, parent bundle /

Your research should provide enough information to determine if the shidduch has some potential. The people date to really find out about each other.

The information uncovered during the research should never be relied on 100%. Everything must be confirmed during the dating process.

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Conversation on first dates

Leave a Comment / ACQUAINT: Getting to know each other, Articles, dating tips bundle, TOOLS: Tools & Mindsets for Productive Dating /

The first half-hour of the first date(s) is all about loosening up, breaking any tension and just … getting through it. Keep things lighthearted, natural and quite general.  Ask light questions with the intent to find something in common. When you are starting a conversation, not all topics will catch on right away. When something seems to catch both of your attention, hover on that topic and dive deeper.

First dates are not all about chit-chatting about random topics. The goal of the first dates is to get a sense of who the other person is. You both should be sharing bits about yourself in areas that are not that private.

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