Dating Etiquette: Complimenting
from the Etiquette while Dating bonus book from Adai Ad First Point Course. Most of the booklet was compiled from ideas from girls who felt that based on their experiences, there are some things that guys ought to know…
This is by no means complete and indicative of everyone’s experiences. It is based on common courtesy of menchlichkeit and modern Western society that people living in America have come to expect.
The intent of the material in booklet is to bring some rules of etiquette to the fore. And once you are aware of what many women expect, you can decide for yourself what feels most comfortable to you.
There are two ways to mess up etiquette. One is to ignore it altogether. The other is to over-think it and overdo it, and thus make it weird and awkward. So keep that in mind as you read these guidelines; the most important thing to remember is simply to be natural and to use common sense! The key to successful good manners in general is to make it look effortless.
There is no script, there are no rules. Be yourself – what feels right for you.
There are so many things you can compliment a girl about besides what she looks like or is wearing. She most likely did put some time into working out what she will wear and how she will make her hair. But most likely, she will not appreciate that all you notice is the way she looks. Even if you think she does look nice, hold back from saying it. Save those compliments for later in your relationship.
Instead, compliment her on something she does well or that she has an interesting perspective. And use descriptive words to show that you really do appreciate that particular attribute. Don’t only praise the person, praise the action. Sometimes the best compliment is actually taking on her perspective, ‘I never thought of it that way. I like that. I will do that from hereon.’ Or during a later date, mention something that you are doing differently because of something she said. It is not so much the words of the compliment as the words reflecting your mode of being authentically complimentary.
Only once she knows that you appreciate her as a whole person, might you also compliment the ways she looks.