• Devora Krasnianski

How you can help a love one in abusive marriage

‘Nechama’ felt helpless. Her gut was telling her that her younger sister ‘Rivky’ was in trouble. She thought she saw the signs, but Rivky never mentioned that anything was amiss. Nechama didn’t know how to bring up the topic.  But it kept gnawing at her.

Then ‘Yisroel’ came to visit Rivky and her family and he noticed that she was not as cheerful and carefree as she had been when they were growing up. To him, it seemed that she had ‘checked out’ on life.  He was worried. But Rivky wouldn’t talk about it.

At some point, Nechama and Yisroel shared their suspicions – something was not right in Rivky’s life.  But they were at a loss as how to help her. After probing further, they realized that Rivky’s marriage was an abusive one.

After several tumultuous and arduous years, BH, with the loving support of her family, Rivky got out of that marriage.

Now that it is all over, Nechama and Yisroel and the rest of their siblings reflect on the ordeal and their roles in helping her and her children through all that confusion. It was most horrible for Rivky of course, but they too had their own anguish of watching their sister suffer so. Every step along the way was fraught with anxiety and was perplexingly baffling.  Trying to help and not knowing what they ought to do and what they really should not do; who to turn to; how to ask questions; how to be a strong front for Rivky; how to deal with their own frustrations as they watched Rivky go back to him once again; navigating the unfamiliar words of lawyers, therapists, rabonim, restraining orders. And … and … and …

Nechama and Yisroel want to help others who are R”L experiencing similar circumstances with their loved ones. Join a ‘Support & Guidance’ Conference Call with Lisa Twerski LCSW  as she guides and supports ‘Nechama’ and ‘Yisroel’ in their journey  to help their sister in an abusive marriage.   Followed by a Q&A.

January 31, 2017 8:45PM prompt   (641) 552-9123 Access code: 256965 You can send in your questions anonymously to www.adaiad.org/ask-anonymous-question – before, during and after the call.

Brought to our community by Crown Heights Jewish Community Council, Adai Ad and Shalom Taskforce.

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