What Should I Be Feeling?
by Devora Krasnianski, founder of Adai Ad Institute
How do I know if he is ‘the one’? Shouldn’t I be feeling ‘fireworks’? One of my friends was so ‘ga ga’ about her chosson – almost immediately. Another just always wanted to be with her chosson. I am dating a great guy, but I don’t feel like either of them described about how they felt about their chosson; maybe he isn’t ‘the one’ for me?
Every person is unique. The way you process your world is different than your friends and sisters. There’s no right way you should be feeling about a prospective chosson.
Perhaps, you are more of a thinker than a feeler. Perhaps, you are a very practical person and allocate your time accordingly.
How you know if he is ‘the one’ will be different for you than it might have been for your friend. Do not use your friend’s experience as a barometer for your own.
Before you commit to marrying this person, you should be feeling respected and appreciated for who you are. And you respect and appreciate him with all his human quirks. (No one is perfect; if you do not recognize any of his flaws, you just might be infatuated and not thinking at all with your head.)
You should feel that you really care for him, and that you would really put in time and effort to make his life better. And that he would do the same for you.
You should be feeling that you want to share about your day – joys or frustrations – with him because you know he cares. And he wants to share with you, and you care to hear about his day.